Time to Say Goodbye

I can't describe my feeling right now. I used to live in this city for past five years. I struggled a lot in the earlier years. I passed many things here, the ups and down. Writing down these sentences, I'm literally in tears now. 

I worked in an English course as a full timer for more than three years, then I applied as an English teacher in a private Islamic school. Started from that day, I turned into a part-timer in the previous English course. So, from Monday up to Thursday, I worked in two places in turn. Before being pregnant, I worked in three different places everyday; school, English Course and private course. I worked from early morning till night. I enjoyed it a lot since I like teaching and working a lot. People called me "a workaholic person". 

After being pregnant and my husband had to move to Aussie for studying, I omitted all the private courses so I only worked in two different places.  At that time, my concerns were not only about how much I can earn but how well I grow this little bundle of joy. 


But, as my belly getting bigger, I have to prepare for delivering the baby. It means I have to move to my hometown and give birth there; Semarang. I asked for 6 months off to my school since it would be so difficult for me if I have to go back to the city after Idul Fitr with this big belly and move back to the hometown afterwards right before the delivery. I also have a plan to follow my husband to Aussie next year if nothing goes wrong. I like a new adventure afterall.

But I don't like staying at home doing nothing, leaving everything that I love behind. I don't get any peace inside of doing that because there's no peace there afterall. 

As I imagine, I'll do nothing; no teaching, no friends, no students, no target, no mall. It's too quiet there. It drives me crazy. I haven't found the ways on how to deal with that yet.

But after all, this  is how life works. This is the consequences I have to take. Life is dinamic, it should be.

And the thing I can't forget is I'm waiting for my son to see the world. That's my miracle, my strength. I have to be so grateful no matter what consequence I have to take for that. As my son comes, my life will be whole different!!! And I'll begin the whole new adventure as a newbie Mom. 
It's OK to be sad now. People need to feel sad somehow.

But life keeps going and everything will be fine.

Right?