Time to Say Goodbye

I can't describe my feeling right now. I used to live in this city for past five years. I struggled a lot in the earlier years. I passed many things here, the ups and down. Writing down these sentences, I'm literally in tears now. 

I worked in an English course as a full timer for more than three years, then I applied as an English teacher in a private Islamic school. Started from that day, I turned into a part-timer in the previous English course. So, from Monday up to Thursday, I worked in two places in turn. Before being pregnant, I worked in three different places everyday; school, English Course and private course. I worked from early morning till night. I enjoyed it a lot since I like teaching and working a lot. People called me "a workaholic person". 

After being pregnant and my husband had to move to Aussie for studying, I omitted all the private courses so I only worked in two different places.  At that time, my concerns were not only about how much I can earn but how well I grow this little bundle of joy. 

But, as my belly getting bigger, I have to prepare for delivering the baby. It means I have to move to my hometown and give birth there; Semarang. I asked for 6 months off to my school since it would be so difficult for me if I have to go back to the city after Idul Fitr with this big belly and move back to the hometown afterwards right before the delivery. I also have a plan to follow my husband to Aussie next year if nothing goes wrong. I like a new adventure afterall.

But I don't like staying at home doing nothing, leaving everything that I love behind. I don't get any peace inside of doing that because there's no peace there afterall. 

As I imagine, I'll do nothing; no teaching, no friends, no students, no target, no mall. It's too quiet there. It drives me crazy. I haven't found the ways on how to deal with that yet.

But after all, this  is how life works. This is the consequences I have to take. Life is dinamic, it should be.

And the thing I can't forget is I'm waiting for my son to see the world. That's my miracle, my strength. I have to be so grateful no matter what consequence I have to take for that. As my son comes, my life will be whole different!!! And I'll begin the whole new adventure as a newbie Mom. 
It's OK to be sad now. People need to feel sad somehow.

But life keeps going and everything will be fine.


2 komentar

  1. Hidup itu pilihan Mey... keren banget dulu kerja di tiga tempat berbeda dari pagi sampai malem.

    Kalau pada akhirnya ikut suami pun enggak masalah.. pasti lebih menyenangkan bisa kumpul bareng, dan ada hal2 baru di Australia sana yang bisa dijadikan cerita di blog ini.

    Hidup emang kadang dilematis ya. Seringnya kita dihadapkan pada pilihan yang sulit yang pengennya nggak harus milih. Tapi untuk saat ini memang yang paling penting fokus dulu sama kehamilannya. Semoga sehat selalu dan lancar sampai persalinan ya, mungkin aja nanti hidup jauh dari kebiasaan di perantauan nggak akan seburuk dalam pikiran. Semangat terus :D

    1. So true Dotz! Hidup memang kadang dilematis. Dan kalau bisa segera hidup bersama suami di tempat yg teramat baru pasti akan menjadi pengalaman teramat berharga buatku nanti. Plus bisa memperkaya cerita dj blog. Secara hidup cuma sekali gitu ya, masa mau gitu gitu aja. Tapi, Allohu alam Dotz. Kuta berencana Tuhan yang menentukan.

      Thank you Dotz! Emang gue skrng harus fokus dlu di kehamilan dan persalinan biar semua sehat dan prima. Cita2 selanjutnya pun bisa jadi mungkin dan dipermudah, InshaAllah.



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