14.02.2013

Well, I don’t know how to start this conversation. Conversation between me and me is much complicated. They are debating inside and make me crazy.

Sometimes I don’t know what I really want. Everything related to love seems so complicated to be understood. And the fact that my 5-year love ended up with nothing just lead me to the new me. And the fact that I met up with such a boy and for the first time of my life, my life changes a lot because of a man appearing in such a short time doesn’t make any sense.

And the fact that we ended up easily without doing any effort leads me to another confusion. And love is indeed complicated.

And the fact that I have no love left at all for the man who spent time together with me since we were 17 years old up to approaching 22 years old leads me to another craziness.

Then I ended up with no conclusion about love matter. To be honest, I don’t love anymore with him who were together with me in such quite long time. And remembering that we have just broken up last September, and my wound was totally healed leads me to another conclusion. Witing tresno jalaran soko kulino, nak wis ra kulino yo ora tresno. The conclusion that comes up in my head about my 5-year relationship.

And you was the one who cured me so fast.\

I don’t know what I’m talking about now.

I have no idea at all about what is going on with my heart. I want, but sometimes I just want to let it go and flow, and sometimes I want it so bad and yell at you that I....in such a short time..you...

I didn’t make a move. I remain silent and hope we can meet accidentally. And you will approach me, and I approach you in such better condition in the future.

Then let me see ‘pause’ button. I’m gonna press it for a while and make a move with different matter. The future is waiting for me and I’m gonna make a move rapidly.

And I hope we can meet again in the future. Thank you for some days making many many good memories about you and me. I like being your side and share laughter together. But, I cannot approach you now because I prefer to wait rather than make a first move. Still, spending time together with you is something I am looking for. And how you transform me in such a way even I have no idea how you did it is just so gorgeous for me.

Later, let’s meet. Let’s start over again. Now, let’s approach the future.

SEMANGAT!