|my daddy and I, 17 years ago!|
“Ke, how are you? Healthy? Do you get used to the environment there? Is your job fun? Does it work out well?”
Yesterday was the longest conversation I made with my daddy by phone.
It recalls my memomy to some months before, I still stayed in my hometown together with my dad and mom.
At that time, I got some calls giving the invitation to do interview in some places in Jakarta. As my parent’s daughter, I asked them whether I had to go or not.
“It’s okay. Just do it and see what will happen”, my mom said.
“Just go...”, my grandmother added.
With their support, I went to Jakarta and lived with my aunt.
“I will not go back before I get the job here”, I am determined. Now, I have been here for around 3 months and enjoying being an English teacher. The fact that I can make living here and stay by my own in my tiny boarding house, also buy some things and goods by my own money just makes me damn happy.
Now when I turn back, I realize my family is the one who makes me like how I am now.
Sometimes I wonder why my father never forbid me to do everything I want.
“Dad, I won’t go home today. I wanna sleep at my friend’s boarding house because I’m gonna watch drama in campus.”
Then, my dad absolutely said yes.
“Dad, my boyfriend (now, we are friends) and me will go back at 11 pm because we wanna watch Kotak Band in campus.”
“Yes...”, my dad replied
“Dad, I’m gonna do solo travelling in Jogja and meet up my friend in Jogja. I’m gonna travel for 4 days..”
My dad always let me do everything I want!!!
But it is not because he doesn’t care, because the fact is he cares to the death.
Daddy gives me the key, then.
“Ke, you can do whatever you want, as long as you can take the responsibility. I believe you know which is the bad and the good thing. So, be free, but responsible!”,
Thus, my dad never say no to my plans.
Well, just once.
At that time, I wanna hike the mountain at night and see the sunrise while lying down at the top of the mountain. It would be damn amazing, I thought. I would go with three of my friends, and all of them are..... men.
It was the first time my dad said no. I sulked and gave so many reasons.
“Dad, it would be my first hiking!! I can do it! Look, my body is healthy.”
I know my daddy was afraid with my body.
“Alah, your body is like farting and skin!” my dad was joking.
One day, two days, three days, and my dad still said big NO.
Then, I came up with new idea.
“Daddy, I just do one-day trip!! It is just half of Merbabu mountain. We just need around 3 hours to reach the top!”
“Daddy, I know my friends, although they are all men, they are nice!”
And I finally went hiking the mountain. As I went back, I let him watch all the photos when I climbed the mountain, when I walked with my butt along the small path with cliff in right and left side. I was damn proud.
“Dad, I will hike the higher one.”
My dad turned his head right and left continously. But I believe he will let me go again, someday.
Thus, because of my father and mother and grandmother and my family, I feel so free. FREE AND RESPONSIBLE. Freedom and responsibility must go hand in hand.
The favorite words I like the most from my dad is,
"Ke, what I have done so far for your study, it is worth-doing. All my struggling pays off, not useless."
And I say to my dad,
"Dad, the Tiger, your lovely motor which you sacrificed for my study,I will replace it with Pajero Sport, someday..."
He laughed starightaway,
"Aamiin.." he said through the phone, yesterday. Suddenly, I miss my dad so bad.
Now I understand, it is how my father look after me, let me grow up and grow mature like what I want. He knows it is my life, and I have to live my life in order to live my dream.
Dad, thank you so much! Talking with you, I feel like a son talking to his father. Yes, a son. He sees me like a gentle little boy.