Wednesday, 24 August 2011

untitled 2

I do believe that achieving something is much easier than holding on to it,somehow I do believe that achieving something is not that easy.

Like holding on to a relationship. The more time passed by, the more difficult it would be.

When mind is really messed up and bad thoughts really take over it, it feels like in hell. No matter what people would say and comment about what I’m gonna write, but sometimes I feel totally pathetic with my own thoughts.

It is impossible to turn back the time, it is impossible to get back some months ago when I was really happy with such a thing. I start to think that by time goes, it can’t work out well. The more I think, the more pathetic and exhausted I am. When you say,” You are too thoughtful”

Then I will answer “ If I could choose, I don’t wanna be this way. I want everything just flows without over thinking and screwing my own mind up.”

Unfortunately I can’t. Bad little things can even push me down and be mood disaster for me.

No matter how many I try to say it to you, you keep being that way. I never say that you are bad, because the fact says otherwise. You are a good guy, you don’t cheat me. You just change. Start to think that we may not be able to stay together in this relationship. I know it is just a little problem, but it really drives me mad.

I do want to get back some months ago, when I was so happy as happy as you felt. We were so close, I loved you so much, so do you. Really happy and I can even imagine how we can grow mature and old together.

If karma exists, I reckon that it is my turn to pay for it.

I have no idea how to start it over and over again to make us feel what we used to, to make our relationship goes like what it used to.

I know it is not the same like it was. What can I do to make you turn like you used to be??

Really miss that time. But, if the only choice is the otherwise, I will try to let it go, to let you go, and start over on my own. Because I can’t deny that you gave me much, you made me a little bit mature, gave me happiness, gave me amazing experience for almost 4 years. Unforgettable, but I am really pathetic and almost give up. Not because I don’t love you enough but I start thinking that you would be happier and better without me who keep disturbing you and make you bored.

I’m just kidding, so don’t be so serious, it is a fiction. Then who will believe it?

23.08.2011 11:07 AM

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