Sometimes what I expect can not be a reality. Sometimes what I want to happen is just an imaginary, nothing happen, just disaffection, no more….no more.
Feel so frustrated when I picture something good, and bad thing happens afterwards,
I want this thing, but it does not come, I want that, the same happens.
You know, everyday I try hard to think and think on how make “this” come true.
Life seems so hard, I have to be grateful nonetheless.
Don’t care What a hard life it is, I keep faith, the more suck condition break me down, the higher I can rise after that.
Oke, I admit that I want more than that, I want more in everything I have,
Look, I am extremely greedy, I want everything, many obsessions turning around in my head, garnishing my days from I wake up until I close my eyes at night.
Many plans arranged, but nothing done.
What the hell is going on with me??? I am disappointed with myself, I am so suck, I am so lame, and it is troublesome.
I can not be as tough as I expect, everything can make me cry, even reality show on television successfully makes me cry, makes me sad.
I don’t know why, sometimes I hate myself. Why can’t I control myself?? Why is it sooooo difficult for me to make me calm down??
Meanwhile I have some plans, and I start nothing.
Plan is just plan and my life just stuck in this level, no development, no efforts, no goods, nothing.
I can’t manage my time, I can not use my time wisely, yeah, I am not wise at all.
I am so lame. I want everything, but I do nothing.
When obstacle come, I give up. When people come to undervalue me, I do nothing, can not do nothing.
When the world laugh at me, I cry. When people do not like me, I hide myself.
No more, baby….
Old meykke has been died…..I will kill everybody who being obstacle, when I do not like somebody, I’ll say “I don’t like”
I’ll behave myself well. When she or he or they respect to me, I will. But, when they don’t, no problem at all, because no excuses to like them. Okay, I can do nothing with my tears. It is so easy to make me cry. I do not know how to control it. My big problem that I must fix. It doesn’t mean that I always cry. No at all. I never cry, maybe, once in a month, or less than that. But always almost cry, when something is not the same with my heart, when condition is so bad, I almost cry. A huge stone sprags my heart, it wanna come out, my beat is so fast, you know, like I want to fist everybody who annoys me. Because surely I can not do that, so I almost cry, I am so angry but I can not express it. Do you ever feel so?? When somebody annoys you, but you can not do something, then we hate her or him at the rest of the time. So far, my friends are good, but, I can not deny that yah, there is 1 or there are two people that annoy me, I can not forget how they treated me, and the only way is stay far away from them, if I can not do right now on because there is still something which have to do together, then I will do later. No problem again. I’ll be happy, sooooo happy. There are Many friends who like me, respect with what I am doing.
Hmmm…..before I talk too much about this and that, about everything, just end up this show.
The thing that I certainly want is, be better, be much more tough, be like what I expect from myself, I need to force myself I think, and just leave somebody or people that do not like me, and get along well with people who like me.
Be grateful, God has given me great people around me, hug me when I need to brush my tears away. When I need shoulder to lean on they will be there, when I need hand to hold me tightly they will be there, when I need people to cheer me up, they will be still there, what do I have to be scared for??
I have God, family, friends, and a hope. Obstacle is a sweetener on my path toward the success on the top of this life!!
Come up with new spirit in new year!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!